http://simurl.com/zinfew
Well.
There.
What to say?
I do try to avoid commenting on other people's work but there is something about this that is ringing bells in my head.
No, I have not become Quasimodo although I do have a hunch....
On my 'Blog' "The Write Stuff", I have commented on different apporoaches to writing. One thing I do stress is that, for me, doing a writing course is a bad idea. This is, primarily, because the reader wants to see what is in your head and in your imagination. An amalgam of other people's ideas tends to come out 'bitty', disjointed and unconvincing.
Perhaps if you are doing specialised writing like training notes for technical courses, manuals or, even journalism (do journalists do courses? They, or many of them, seem not to do courses in English.... but that's a tale for another day) then, perhaps, a course is in order. But for fiction? No. Whatever your genre, write what you want to write in your own way.
Clearly, there should be some common reference point. Learning about punctuation, grammar, comprehension, spelling and syntax is important in order to avoid those elephant traps that many fall into.
All the great people who write wonderful stories have not done writing courses. Writing courses are designed for people to make money out of people who think that they might want to write but need moral support or convincing.
It is not necessary to be a journalist, a Ph.D or even a highly qualified expert in some field or other to write a great story. You do not even have to be old although life experience is invaluable when telling tales of people and situations. There are many young authors out there who, like old-timers, vary between incompetent to exciting. Some are successful but, possibly, most are not. Again, I have written about that previously. You can have great story, well told, but still not 'make it'. On the other hand you can have a mediochre story fairly painfully told and get a contract with a publishing house. That's life. Live with it.
There are people out there who are intellectual giants. Enormously clever people who excel in their field of work and whose grasp of the language, whatever it is, far surpasses the average person in the street. Again, I have written previously about the pitfalls of overusing words.
Now I come to the short story, above.
The author is, clearly, extraordinarily gifted mentally. He is head and shoulders above most people in the 'brains' department. He has taken it upon himself to write stories. Good.
This particular story is the sort of 'competition length' story that is very difficult, in the normal course of events, to write. To get the characters, the atmosphere, the surroundings and the action into less than 2,000 words is very tricky if you want it be seem 'real'. This story is about 1800, I guess (without actually counting them up).
First, the bad news. I found the language a little difficult. Using mediaeval forms, like Tolkien, is highly specialised and inserting modern ideas into it is extremely difficult to achieve successfully. This story nearly does that.
Secondly, the good news. It is a wonderful idea. It has a good start, a reasonable development phase and an excellent ending.
Thirdly, the observation. Please rewrite it longer. Give yourself more room for the approach to the end. This could be made even better if it was around 5000 words. It all felt a bit rushed. 'Laze' it up a little to give the reader time to think and absorb what is going on and put more into it so that we know what is happening.
Did I enjoy it? Immensely. It IS good as it stands. These opinions are just my ideas to give it more.... how can I say? 'Oomph'!
I shall read more of your stories now even though that particular genre is not in my normal reading slot.
Thank you, Glenn.
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